November 15, 2010

• It seems 90% of people I know don't have discernible goals. Then, it seems there is another 5% who do have these goals but apparently do nothing to achieve them. Some of them take "the first step" but then find out that they need to actually continue stepping and then they throw in the towel.

  There is another good chunk who pursue their goals and are failing. This generally means having a "real job" and then taking their money & free time and investing it in a dream. They sing at bars or play in bands and some of them act in local theaters and others paint or write. I think most of them will never make money doing their "dream" but they also seem to be the most pleased people I know, pleased to the point that they are often arrogant, but arrogant is just another word for 'confident' and confidence is just a manifestation of self-esteem and it's fucking hard to get up in the morning without any self-esteem.

  I learned from these people and I decided to re-calibrate my dreams and goals and continue 'stepping.'

  Today I did tremolo picking up and down my guitar for an hour; tomorrow I will do the same. I'll do it every day until my tremolo picking is flawless because if you want to play black metal you got to play really, really fast and really, really well.

  Today I studied philosophy for several hours.

  I also wrote today and offered an observation on the human condition -- to be a writer, you have to write and write about something that other humans may theoretically be interested in.

  I spent the entire day being a friend to my friends for obvious reasons, and then I smiled and was sweet to some girls for reasons you should find more obvious.

  In the Army I learned to make a list every morning before work of 'things I need to do.' I think I will write these down each day.

  I also learned in the Arm that 'after everything we do, we have an AAR' (After Action Review). This got exaggerated to the point where during the most routine task we'd have the senior most person yell out,

  "Give me three sustains and three improves." We'd then yell out things we did well and three ways we could do other things better. It was annoying sometimes but very helpful at other times.

  I think each day I will make a list in the morning of the things I need to do for Black Metal, philosophy, friends, family & romance. This will keep me healthy.

  • 10:37 am
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